10 Everyday Habits Child Psychologists Urge Parents and Grandparents Not to Ignore

As parents or grandparents, we often focus on the big stuff, discipline, academic success, safety, but it’s the small, consistent habits that leave lasting impressions on our children. According to child psychologists, everyday routines and behaviors quietly shape a child's emotional development, resilience, and self-esteem more than we realize.

• Let’s dive into 10 powerful habits backed by psychology that every caregiver should nurture, and why they matter so much.

1. Listening With Your Full Attention.

• What it looks like: You pause what you’re doing, make eye contact, and really tune in when a child is speaking.

• Children who feel heard build stronger emotional regulation skills. Dr. Laura Markham, clinical psychologist and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids, explains that kids learn they matter when adults actively listen to them. This builds self-worth and strengthens your relationship with them.

• Active listening tells children they matter. Clinical psychologist Dr. Laura Markham emphasizes that when a child feels heard, it nurtures emotional safety and connection. These interactions teach them to value themselves and others.
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Real-life tip: Even five uninterrupted minutes a day can make a big difference. Try a no-phones-at-the-dinner-table rule to encourage conversation.

2. Naming and Validating Emotions

• According to research published in the journal Emotion, helping kids label their feelings improves their ability to regulate emotions. It’s called “emotion coaching”, and it’s a game-changer.

Psychological insight: When emotions are acknowledged, children learn that feelings are normal, not something to hide or be ashamed of.

3. Maintaining Predictable Routines.

• Morning rituals, bedtime stories, or Saturday clean-up routines.

What this matters: Routines help children feel safe. The American Academy of Pediatrics highlights that predictability reduces anxiety in children and helps them transition more smoothly between tasks and stages.

Studies show that when parents use calm, consistent strategies, children respond with improved behavior and emotional regulation (Harvard Center on the Developing Child).

• Real-life story: One grandmother shared that her daily 7 p.m. call with her grandson became his anchor during a difficult school year, just a simple routine that gave him emotional security.

4. Offering Praise for Effort, Not Just Outcome.

• According to Dr. Carol Dweck, the pioneer of the growth mindset theory, praising effort teaches children that persistence and learning matter more than innate talent. This mindset helps children tackle challenges with resilience.

Parenting tip: Start with one phrase: “I noticed you really tried hard at that.”

5. Modeling Emotional Self-Regulation

• Taking a deep breath and saying, “I’m feeling overwhelmed right now, I need a minute,” rather than yelling.

Why it matters: Kids mimic what they see. According to the Social Learning Theory by Albert Bandura, children learn behaviors by observing and imitating adults. If they see you manage emotions healthily, they’re more likely to develop similar strategies.

• Grandparent role: Your calm demeanor during family stress teaches emotional balance better than any lecture.

6. Reading With Them—Even When They Can Read Alone

• Sharing a book together at night or discussing the stories they read on their own.

 Beyond literacy, shared reading builds closeness, sparks conversations about life lessons, and improves emotional intelligence.

Psychological bonus: According to a study by the Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, shared reading promotes better attention spans and reduces behavioral problems.

7. Encouraging Curiosity Without Judgment.

• What it looks like: Responding to "Why is the sky blue?" with enthusiasm instead of "Because it just is."

 Curiosity is linked to better academic performance and critical thinking. A Harvard study found that children whose questions are welcomed at home are more likely to pursue knowledge independently.

Parenting insight: When you encourage questions, you’re not just building intelligence—you’re also telling your child their voice matters.

8. Apologizing When You’re Wrong.

Apologizing doesn’t diminish your authority, it humanizes you. According to psychologist Dr. Becky Kennedy, when adults take responsibility for their mistakes, children learn accountability and empathy.

• Real-world example: A dad who apologized to his 5-year-old for missing her dance recital noticed a shift in her openness and trust. Owning up, even in small ways, builds mutual respect.

9. Spending Unstructured Time Together.

•  Lying in the grass, coloring side-by-side, or making up silly games.

These relaxed moments foster bonding and reduce pressure. Play therapy research shows that unstructured play is essential for emotional healing and growth.

• Tip: Block out “slow time” on weekends, even if it’s just 30 minutes. That unhurried presence means more to a child than expensive outings.

10. Speaking Kindly About Others, Especially in Front of Kids.

•  Avoiding gossip, using respectful tones, and showing compassion.

• Children internalize the way you speak about others. According to developmental psychologist Dr. Alison Gopnik, kids absorb moral behavior early through social cues, not lectures.

• Bonus impact: Speaking respectfully also helps kids learn to navigate peer relationships with empathy and kindness.

Why These Habits Add Up.

• It’s not about being a perfect parent or grandparentit’s about being present, intentional, and consistent. These 10 habits work quietly in the background to nurture emotionally secure, confident, and mentally resilient children.

Over time, the child who feels truly listened to, emotionally validated, and safe in your presence will grow up to be the adult who knows how to do the same for others.

Backed by Psychology, Powered by Love.

• Here’s a simple truth backed by decades of research in child development: Children thrive in emotionally attuned environments.

✔ They develop higher emotional intelligence.

✔ They exhibit fewer behavioral problems.

✔ They perform better in school.

✔ They grow into compassionate, capable adults.

None of the habits above require wealth, degrees, or perfection, just mindful presence and a willingness to grow alongside your child or grandchild.

In Conclusion: Start Small, Stay Steady.

• Don’t let this list overwhelm you. Choose just one habit to focus on this week. Maybe you’ll commit to putting your phone down when your child starts talking. Maybe you’ll say “I hear you” more often. Small, consistent actions matter deeply.

And remember: your effort is seen, your care is felt, and the child you’re raising today will thank you for the little things you chose not to ignore.

Related Reads on SalientKids:

• Why Kids Lie and What You Can Do About It

• Parenting vs Raising a Child: What’s the Real Difference?

• What to Do When You Feel Disconnected with Your Child